How to make your home your happy place

Understanding how the mind responds to our environment is the key to making home a relaxing sanctuary with the feelgood factor

Where’s the happy place in your house? You know, the room that makes you smile every time you walk into it or the nook you gravitate to with coffee and a magazine. Every home should have one, as it’s becoming increasingly clear that our homes have a direct link with our sense of wellbeing.

This is even more important in winter, when we spend more time at home, keeping cosy on long nights or entertaining friends, and when low light levels can send our mood plummeting. It’s why the tradition of Yuletide decoration goes so far back – it’s a way of reminding ourselves that the cold won’t last forever and light will return. Now scientific research is catching up with what our ancestors knew – ‘neuro-architects’ are starting to design uplifting buildings based on our brain’s responses to our environment. And, while we can’t all live in a neuro-architectural paradise, we can still use what they’ve learned to create happy homes.

Spaces for living

The first, and simplest, move is to look at each room and ask if it suits its purpose. We prefer open spaces for socialising and a small, enclosed corner when we want to concentrate on something or be alone with our emotions. So homes need to cater to both needs.

Michael Player, psychologist and co-author of StressLess (Robinson, £12.99), adds that a relaxing bedroom should be a priority. ‘Improving your sleep is the single most meaningful thing you can do to increase your mental health,’ he says. ‘Make the bed as comfortable as possible and insulate yourself from exterior light and noise with heavy curtains. Get rid of visual clutter and technology – it’s important to create screen-free spaces where you can relax.’

Go green

Being in nature lifts the spirits instantly, but one study has shown that even a photograph of the natural world can give you a boost (the same study found that looking at a Jackson Pollock artwork can actually increase stress!).

Plants are even more effective. According to Anjie Cho, architect and author of Holistic Spaces (CICO Books, £9.99), ‘they can create a softer more vibrant energy in a home and are healing visually and physically.’ Plants have the added plus of purifying the air and reducing household pollution – dust, cooking fumes and outdoor dirt which can affect our health.

Light and colour

‘Think about colour too,’ says Michael. ‘Soft whites, pale blues and greens reduce stress. Whereas bright red can actually raise blood pressure.’ Oranges and greens are good for socialising and collaboration, and yellows promote productivity.

Light is another important factor – a home full of natural light is instantly calming. In winter this can be in short supply, so make the most of what you have. ‘Open curtains and blinds first thing in the morning to kick-start your circadian rhythm,’ recommends Michael. ‘And in the evening dim the lights to help you wind down.’

The magic (and curse) of stuff

There’s true emotional power in the items we collect, according to counsellor Dawn Smith. “‘Sentimental value” is a slightly dismissive term that suggests we’re a little silly for caring about the vase Gran left us or the Tretchikoff print we rescued from a car-boot sale, but there’s more to it than that,’ she reveals. ‘These things spark joyous memories, and give us a sense of belonging to a class or cultural tribe. They say something about us.’

It’s a good idea to harness this joy by placing special items in the right place. ‘Group strong memories together – maybe have a cabinet of travel-related ones, or paint a square on the wall and fill it with happy memories,’ says Kirsten Steno. Originally an interior designer, she then trained as a life coach and merged the two roles together as a ‘house coach’. Kirsten also recommends setting aside a wall in your hallway for family memories. ‘It creates a sense of belonging straight away. Imagine if you’re a child who doesn’t live with both parents, and how reassuring it would be to see your face on that wall every time you walked in.’

However, it’s easy to accumulate too many emotionally weighted objects – which we then can’t face giving away. It’s called the ‘endowment effect’ – once something is ours, we feel like we’ve ‘won’ it which gives it extra value. It’s why we find it so hard to send back those too-small trousers we bought on eBay. Kirsten recommends the seven-three method to declutter. ‘Put 10 things out in front of you, get rid of three and keep seven. Breaking it down like this makes the task seem less intimidating.’

Room for agreement

But what about those pesky things we can’t change? The teeny-tiny windows, the cramped hallway, the domestic stand-off about the colour of the kitchen cupboards? This sort of issue can transform your home into a place of tension.

‘Very often there’s more than meets the eye to these problems,’ Kirsten reveals. ‘For example, one couple came to me because the wife, an artist, wanted a vintage home and the husband, a banker, wanted high-end modern furniture. She was calling him a “snob” he was calling her a “naive hippy”. I discovered the wife was afraid of being dragged into a conventional life, and the husband hated disorder and wanted good design. They compromised by buying Danish furniture from the 1960s and now both love their home! Very often your own mindset is what’s stopping you being happy. Once you’ve figured out what’s really bothering you, you can create a home you love.’

WORDS: ANDREINA CORDANI